


Sonnet 87

by WardenAri



Series: Gifts [6]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Hawke is his own worst enemy, M/M, Purple Hawke (Dragon Age), Seriously he shouldn't be allowed out without a chaperone, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28578564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WardenAri/pseuds/WardenAri
Summary: Eric Hawke is in love with Fenris. If only he was worthy. If only his affections were returned.Or are they?
Relationships: Fenris/Male Hawke
Series: Gifts [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/353963
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	Sonnet 87

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zuendwinkel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zuendwinkel/gifts).



> Title is of a Shakespeare Sonnet about unrequited love.
> 
> This fic is a gift for the amazing Zuendwinkel of her Eric Hawke. She wanted angst with some more angst. Here you go. I hope you all love it!!
> 
> TY Cartawithaheartofgold for giving me the "bone" line here!!

Eric Hawke stood outside the door to Fenris’ mansion trying to gather the courage to just knock at the door. Hanging from his arm was a basket of warm chocolate chip cookies that Eric had managed to talk his mother into baking. He knew the elf had a sweet tooth and had thought at the time of the saying about how a way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Except Fenris tended to just go straight through the chest cavity. Eric was beginning to think this was a mistake. Fenris had shown no signs that he was interested in him. Then he’d gotten that letter from Bethany yesterday and it had put stupid ideas in his head. Ideas like bringing the dangerous elf cookies.

_ Brother, I love you but you’re being a chicken. Just kiss him already, or at least tell him how you feel. _

Stupid Bethany. This was all her fault. He had nearly made a fool of himself because of her. In fact, the more Eric thought about it, the more he was sure what he should do was write her back immediately and tell her off. Yes, that was best.

Before he could turn away the door to the mansion opened. Fenris’ eyes grew wide when he saw him. He held his sword in his hand, but lowered it as he looked at Eric.

“Hawke?” he looked at him with eyebrows furrowed.

“Fenris. Hi, funny meeting you here,” Hawke immediately closed his eyes. 

“I live here,” Fenris explained as if Hawke wasn’t aware.

“I, uh, yes of course. I was just...cookies,” he thrust the basket into Fenris’ chest. The elf caught the basket. A look of surprise on his face.

“You were just cookies?” Fenris looked at the basket and then back at Hawke.

Eric knew he was blushing, but decided to soldier on. “Uh, mother had made those and I thought perhaps you’d like some. They’re chocolate chip.”

Fenris nodded and stepped back a step. “Would you like to come inside?”

Eric entered and looked around. He’d been to the mansion only twice to this point, and not at all since they’d returned from the Deep Roads. He just wasn’t sure if Fenris would want an intrusion on his privacy. So, out of fear of invading his space, Eric had simply stayed away. Though now he wondered if that had been a mistake.

Fenris passed him, on the way to his living space. Eric took note of the skeletons still on the floor.

“You know, if you need fresh bones I can help you out,” he winked.  _ Maker, what had just come out of his mouth? He shouldn’t be allowed to talk to anyone. Ever again. _

Fenris raised an eyebrow as he looked at Eric for a moment, “I will keep that in mind.” He continued to his room.

Eric let out a sigh of relief that at least Fenris hadn’t picked up the double entendre.

“Would you care for some wine?” Fenris asked.

Eric nodded. Wine would keep his mouth occupied and hopefully keep him from saying anything more that might scare Fenris off for good.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” he said as he looked around the sparsely decorated room. Though it was clearly meant to be a parlor, it looked like perhaps Fenris stayed only in this room. A mattress, probably dragged from another room, sat near one corner. There was a table from which Fenris stood now to get the wine, and a chair and bench near the fireplace.

Fenris approached and handed Eric a goblet of red wine. Eric tried to ignore the spark when their fingers briefly touched.

“You are not,” Fenris shook his head. “Isabela is coming by soon to spar but otherwise I was not busy. It is good to have you visit. Finally,” he finished with a smirk before drinking his wine.

_ Great, so now by hiding like the chicken Bethany said he was, he’d managed to hurt Fenris.  _

“I’m sorry I didn’t me-”

“Hawke, I was joking,” Fenris rolled his eyes. 

“Hello, big, broody and handsome, I’m here,” they both turned towards the doorway as Isabela called out.

“I believe it’s considered impolite in most circles to pick a lock and just let yourself in,” Fenris answered her.

“Those circles are no fun,” Isabela answered as she entered the room. “Oh, hello, Hawke.”

Eric frowned, noticing Isabela was wearing even less clothing then usual for her.  _ Sparring indeed _ .

Suddenly he wanted to be anywhere but here. The last thing he needed was to see the two of them hanging on each other.

“Right so, uh, I’m going to go,” Eric put his drink down and took off for the front door, ignoring Fenris calling out his name. 

\--------------------------------

“I’m such an idiot,” Eric groaned as he feigned banging his head on the table.

“Oh, Hawke. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Merrill patted his arm.

“I asked him if he wanted a fresh bone,” Eric spoke into the table.

Anders snorted while Merrill tried to think of something encouraging to say.

Varric went another way. “Hawke, I need you to give me something better to work with for my book. Cheesy lines like that won’t sell copies.”

“Sorry to be such a disappointment,” Eric sighed.

“I dunno, Varric,” Anders smirked. “I’d say bad pick up lines are pretty on brand for Hawke.”

“Don’t listen to them, Hawke. I’m sure Fenris found it amusing,” Merrill tried again to reassure him.

“Really?” Eric lifted his head and looked at Merrill hopefully.

“Maybe,” she shrugged.

Eric sighed again and took a large sip of his ale. And another. And another. And then two more mugs worth. With each sip, he’d hoped to forget his bumbling attempts at flirting, but all it did was make his head feel fuzzy. Meanwhile his friends played cards, leaving Eric to his thoughts.

“Oh, look here he is now,” Merrill’s ever chipper voice broke into his thoughts.

Eric looked across the bar and sure enough, Fenris had entered behind Isabela. Seeing them together reminded Eric that the two of them were, most likely, together. At least carnaly. He frowned at that thought. Isabela headed for her regular seat at the bar while Fenris headed towards the rest of them.

“I think I could use a drink. Blondie, Daisy, care to help me carry them,” Varric pushed back his seat.

_ Subtle, _ Eric thought with an eyeroll.

They left the table just as Fenris sat down. Next to Eric.  _ That’s just unfair _ , Eric thought to himself.

“Hawke,” Fenris straddled the bench to face him fully.

“Hey Fen,” Eric gave him a half-drunk smile.

“I believe I need to clear something up between us,” Fenris replied.

Eric could feel his heart already start to sink.

“Listen, Fen, you don’t have to explain I…”

“I do care for you. More than as a friend, I mean,” Fenris watched him with an expression that Eric guessed was the ‘puppy dog eyes’ Merrill went on about often.

_ Well that was unexpected! _ Eric felt his spirits lift almost immediately. His smile grew into one of pure joy. “Fenris, I feel the s…”

“But,” Fenris interrupted. 

“But?” Eric felt the joy slipping away from just one word.

“But Danarius is still out there somewhere. Until he is dead I will never truly be free. And if he knew of my feelings for you, he’d find some way to use that to subdue me. Most likely even harm you,” Fenris frowned, taking Eric’s hand in his and giving it a squeeze. It was then that he noticed that Fenris had taken off his usual clawed gauntlet, having set it on the table beside him. “I could never live with myself if I caused you to come to harm.”

“So,” Eric’s chest suddenly felt too tight, “so you are saying you have feelings for me, but nothing can come of it.”

“You would be best to put your efforts towards someone that can return your feelings. Anders perhaps,” Fenris snarled as he said the name.

“But I don’t want Anders,” Eric shook his head. “Why can’t I just be enough. We can face this together.”

“Eric,” Fenris frowned and under different circumstances Eric’s heart would have taken flight at hearing Fenris use his first name. Instead it layed broken on the ground. “I am truly sorry.”

Without another word between them, Fenris took his gauntlet from the table as he stood. Eric watched as he left the Hanged Man, putting it back on as he walked. Eric continued to look out the door Fenris had just walked through with Eric’s heart just as if he’d reached in and ripped it from Hawke’s chest himself.

“Hawke.”

Eric’s head turned to find Isabela taking a seat beside him. He looked at the bar to see the others pretending, not very well mind you, that they hadn’t just watched what had happened.

“Not now, Bela,” he just wasn’t in the mood for her flirting right now. Any other time but now.

“I thought you could use this,” she placed a short glass of rum in front of him.

“Bela, I…,” he shook his head.

“You don’t need to say anything. I already know what he said, or the gist of it,” she put her arm around his shoulder and gave a squeeze.

“You do?”

“He’d explained it to me after you left. I told him it was better that he explain it to you himself than leave you dangling,” she gave him a comforting smile. “I am sorry though that you’re hurt.”

“You don’t believe in romance anyway,” Eric took a large gulp of the rum, feeling the warmth seep into the hollowness of his insides.

“Not for me,” she shook her head. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it for you. I’m truly sorry.”

“Me too,” Eric gulped hard. The last thing he needed was for the entire bar to see him cry. It just...it wasn’t fair. Despite all the dread and corruption in the city he’d found someone to care for, someone he might even love. Only to be told there could never be a future between them because of something out of both of their control. Eric stood on wobbly legs. “I think I need to leave.”

He left the bar and made his way to his home where he could break down in private. Alone.


End file.
